Trump Nukes The Global Economy

The Start of America's Economic Holy War

April 2, 2025 — Liberation Day, he called it.

Standing in the Rose Garden, Donald Trump declared that American industry had been “reborn.” That America’s “destiny was reclaimed.” That the country would now become “wealthy again.”

But what he launched wasn’t a revival — it was an economic nuclear bomb.

I suspected this would be bad, but this is about as bad as I could imagine.

Starting tomorrow, the United States will impose reciprocal tariffs on nearly every imported good. Cars. Groceries. Clothes. Electronics. You name it — if it crosses our border, it’s getting taxed.

For all intents and purposes, everything in America is about to go up in price by 20% or more. The U.S. imports a staggering volume of goods. This new tariff scheme makes Smoot-Hawley look like a walk in the park, Kaminsky.

The Justification?

Trump claimed that for decades, America has been “raped, looted, and pillaged” by foreign nations. Allies and enemies alike were smeared as “cheaters,” “scavengers,” and “thieves.”

This wasn’t an economic announcement. It was a declaration of war against globalization itself — set off with atomic fury.

He’s not wrong about one thing: American industry has left for foreign shores. But to pretend that happened because of some foreign crime spree — instead of decades of U.S. economic policy, global shifts, and corporate greed — is delusional.

This isn’t strategic recalibration.

This is an indiscriminate atomic blast.

And every single American is standing within its radius.

What This Means:

• Prices will skyrocket. Tariffs are taxes — and they get passed to you. That $40 pair of jeans? $60 by next week. Your iPhone? Add a couple hundred bucks. Even your groceries won’t be spared.

• Global retaliation is coming. The EU. China. Canada. Mexico. They will all strike back. This will spiral — fast.

• We’ll miss the days of Smoot-Hawley. That law helped turn a recession into the Great Depression. What Trump just triggered makes Smoot-Hawley look like a firecracker.

• Supply chains will fracture. U.S. factories can’t restart overnight. We still rely on foreign components. You can’t slap a tariff on a bolt and expect a car to appear. Without a steady stream of finished goods, the economy will seize.

• Markets will tank. This is a Molotov cocktail thrown into the gears of the global economy. The after-hours are already showing the “approval” (the lack thereof) of our new economic jihad.

This Wasn’t About Trade. This Was Total Economic War.

Trump didn’t propose tariffs.

He declared war — not just on China or Mexico or the EU, but on the global system itself. I mean, it’s stunning. I was speechless watching this tripe.

He’s become the Orange Idi Amin.

Again, I go back to the language and decode it all. He accused other nations of “raping, looting, and pillaging” America. Not undercutting us. Not outcompeting us. Raping. Looting. Pillaging. That is just defamatory. Straight up defamation. And then, in the same breath, he goes, “But I don’t blame them.”

Really? How magnanimous.

That’s not economic language. That’s wartime propaganda.

That’s the language of a TYRANT.

He didn't offer a plan to rebalance trade deficits. He didn’t mention economic modeling or domestic production scaling. Instead, he branded global commerce as an act of violence against the United States — and positioned his tariffs as an act of righteous retaliation.

This wasn't a trade announcement.

It was a battle cry.

He’s Constructing a Parallel Reality — and People Will Follow It

“Liberation Day” isn’t just a throwaway line.

It’s myth-making.

Authoritarian regimes don’t just change policy — they rewrite time. They create a new beginning. A new calendar. A moment when everything before was failure, and everything after will be glory — so long as you obey.

Trump is building a new reality where:

• Globalization = treason

• Sacrifice = patriotism

• Suffering = proof you’re on the right side

This is economic religion now. Tariffs aren’t just tools — they’re tests of loyalty. If you can’t afford the new prices, if your job gets outsourced, if the shelves go bare? That’s the price of freedom.

And if you complain?

You’re siding with the rapists.

This Makes Smoot-Hawley Look Like a Toy

In 1930, Congress passed the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, raising tariffs on hundreds of imports. The result?

• Global trade fell by 20%.

• Retaliatory tariffs crushed U.S. exports.

• The world spiraled into the Great Depression.

But in 1930, the U.S. was still relatively self-reliant. We had domestic agriculture, heavy industry, and protected markets.

In 2025? We import everything.

• 70% of our pharmaceuticals.

• 90% of key tech components.

• Half of our food supply

And now it’s all being taxed — starting tomorrow.

To make it clear, we (the United States), basically do two things really well - services and finance. That’s it. Our “domestic economy” is essentially services and finance.

Everything else, is essentially imported from things made elsewhere.

This is Smoot-Hawley on steroids, in an age where the supply chain isn’t just important — it’s everything. What they broke in 1930 took a decade to rebuild.

What Trump just broke?

Might not be repairable.

Closer: Flamethrowers and False Gods

If there’s any good news here, I suppose it’s this:

I’ve seen crack addicts with more conviction than the President on trade.

Tomorrow, six seconds after these tariffs are supposed to take effect, Trump might — and likely will — stand up and say:

“2%! 9%! No. 2%! No 29%! No PURPLE! HIKE!”

He is utterly schizophrenic on economic policy. Completely detached from coherence. So maybe this ends up being some late, wickedly stupid April Fools’ joke.

I doubt it. But hey — anything's possible when the country’s being run like a drunk improv show in a methadone clinic.

Meanwhile, if Elon Musk is truly being shown the door, maybe — maybe — the ketamine-fueled era of national policy is coming to an end.

One can only hope.

Still, I’ll believe the Musk hallucination is over when that emerald-mine inheriting clown — LARPing as a genius while tanking every company he touches — finally exits the stage. Ketamine is highly addictive, dangerously destabilizing, and induces psychosis when abused.

And frankly, how else do you explain someone trying to destroy their own empire from the inside?

Which brings us back to Trump. And his acolytes.

All these MAGA-hat-wearing cultists… all we ever hear from them is what geniuses Trump and Musk are. They’re savants.

Idiot savants, maybe — with a heavy emphasis on idiot.

Because what just happened wasn’t a policy announcement. It wasn’t leadership.

It was like watching a four-year-old wield a flamethrower.

And as bad as you think that would be?

This was worse.

This piece is public, written in the immediate aftermath of Trump’s remarks. It’s more reactionary than my usual long-form work — a field report from inside the blast zone. Objects may appear stupider than they actually are. If this kind of no-bullshit, rapid-response analysis speaks to you, consider subscribing.
There’s more coming. And it won’t all be public.