Trade Wars, Mass Layoffs, and Constitutional Showdowns: Just another Week in "Trumerica."
The Brief: March 12, 2025
This past week, the economy tanked, tariffs spiraled into chaos, and Trump’s own supporters got steamrolled by his policies—again.
Markets Crashed: The Dow plunged nearly 1,500 points in two days, erasing $4 trillion in market value. Trump’s response? “Rebuilding takes pain.”
Trade War Escalates: Trump doubled tariffs on Canada, then reversed course after Ontario called his bluff. Meanwhile, Kentucky bourbon is getting wrecked by retaliatory tariffs.
Mass Layoffs Begin: Trump’s new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—led by Elon Musk—axed thousands of federal jobs, mostly in red states. Turns out, gutting the government means gutting their jobs, too.
Confirmed Cabinet Picks: WWE’s Linda McMahon takes over Education (with zero experience), and Lori Chavez-DeRemer moves into Labor (to deregulate it).
Legal Showdowns: Courts blocked Trump’s order to end birthright citizenship, and unions are fighting back against Musk’s mass firings.
And in the “Hoisted on Their Own Red Petard” department: MAGA voters are shocked, SHOCKED I SAY, to discover that burning down the system…roasts them alive. Payback is indeed a bitch.
Let’s get into it…