Leopards eat Florida's Face

I guess Fox News can't provide all our weather information after all.

I worked with the NRO and NGA. Officially, that’s “reconnaissance and geospatial intelligence.” Unofficially? Spying. But here’s what most people don’t realize: some of the satellites that feed weather data to NOAA—the ones we rely on to track hurricanes, analyze climate models, and prepare for disasters—are launched by the NRO and interpreted via NGA systems.

In other words, the same infrastructure we use to spot missile silos also helps forecast where hurricanes will hit. We do all this because we want to know more than “what’s the weather going to be outside”. We do this because, oh, like trillions of dollars of commerce, shipping, and our national security depend on it. That’s the primary reason why we’ve invested in this massive infrastructure to figure out what the weather is up to.

Which makes it especially psychotic that, in Project 2025—or as I like to call it, Mein Kampf for Stupid and Lazy People—MAGA has decided to dismantle the National Weather Service and stop reporting all this data.

Why? Because if there’s no National Weather Service, they figure we can stop talking about climate change. No data, no problem. And if there’s no NOAA, well, then nobody’s “weaponizing the weather” to make you think hurricanes are worse than they used to be.

It’s like reasoning that if the Surgeon General hasn’t said smoking causes cancer yet, lighting up is perfectly safe. Which, of course, is not how reality works. Smoking killed people in the 1940s—we just hadn’t figured out the mechanism yet. Although I swear, last week a friend of mine said to me, “Remember back in the 1980s when drinking was good for you?” I looked at him and went, “What??”

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

Enter John Morales, one of Florida’s most respected meteorologists, now basically telling residents: Good luck, you poor bastards—I may not be able to warn you next time. Without timely satellite data, accurate forecasting, or federal coordination, Floridians may soon be left staring at the sky like it’s 1823.

Awesome. Once again, TACO strikes. And the leopards eat the faces of his supporters.

Now, you might say: “Okay, but it’s Florida. Good!”

And yeah. Floridians can fornicate themselves with a flaming palm tree without lube. Between their Proud Boy cosplay and their unhinged love for all things Orange, it does seem karmically delicious that they’re about to get drowned by their idiocy.

But here’s the problem.

Florida is one major hurricane away from becoming uninsurable. Not just pricey—functionally uninsurable. And there’s almost no part of the state that escapes damage during hurricane season anymore. These storms are getting larger, more intense, and more frequent. Every hit causes damage—every time.

That’s why over 30 insurance companies have left the state, downsized, or gone bankrupt in recent years. Home insurance premiums are skyrocketing, the state-run Citizens Property Insurance Corp is overloaded, and the whole system is cracking.

And when the state insurance pool collapses? Nobody bails out Florida. Not with FEMA gutted. Not with NOAA sidelined. Not with the storm data suppressed.

Which brings us back to Project 2025.

Because it’s not just NOAA. FEMA has been politicized, gutted, and is now run by unqualified hacks. The state-level emergency systems in the Deep South are already under strain from years of climate whiplash. And the region’s infrastructure? Always ranked bottom-tier nationally.

One Sandy-sized hurricane—and the whole thing turns into a humanitarian disaster. I’m convinced of it. And the hurricanes today, thanks to “climate change” (whether we want to believe in it or not) are now bigger, stronger, and way more dangerous.

So sure—laugh at the red hats as the levees break. But the storm won’t check who you voted for.

And plenty of people don’t deserve what’s coming:

• The elderly who have nowhere else to go

• The children of the cultists

• The poor, stuck in place while the sea rises

• The sane people living in the South, watching the madness unfold

When that hurricane hits—when the warnings don’t come, when the shelters don’t open, when the insurance won’t pay out—it won’t just be the leopards eating faces.

It’ll be a nation watching a region drown, and realizing the rest of the country’s next.

So, when Katrina devastated the U.S., and Michael Brown was pilloried, I never imagined I’d meet Michael Brown. But I did. I met him years later. For whatever reason, from time to time, we bump into each other. I wouldn’t say we’re buds or anything, but we did seem to run into each other. He’s a nice enough guy. He’s not a stupid guy, either, which might be challenging to believe, given how that whole situation unfolded. America completely lost its mind regarding the poor emergency management and the flawed risk prediction that led to the FEMA failures in the response to the Katrina disaster. Brown, right or wrong, bore the brunt of most of that anger and political punishment.

So, in light of that, I guess I’m wondering:

Heckuva job, TACO?

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