Dude, where's my student loan contract?

Millions of people are going to start being "collected" on. But should they?

Disclaimer: Another piece about student loans. I’m not your lawyer. If federal student loan policies impact you, consult a licensed attorney who understands federal contracts, administrative law, collections law, and constitutional claims. This article is based on my understanding of publicly available documents, regulatory frameworks, and settled legal doctrine. Everything here is based on what I believe to be true, but how it applies to your case may vary. In any event, I do not advocate default, ignoring your obligations, or stopping payments on your student loans; those acts can have significant consequences.

Dateline: About a month ago, I blew up the internet.

Admittedly, it was a rant. I was nearly unhinged, but so was the idea: The President decided that the Small Business Administration would now be in charge of student loans.

Next, the U.S. Park Service could collect back taxes, and the FDIC could administer tickets for the Washington Monument.

I got a lot of feedback on that piece—some thoughtful, some nasty. Whatever. You take the good with the weirdly Maoist.

One of the things I mentioned doing was requesting a copy of my Master Promissory Note—the legal contract that proves a student loan exists.

So I did. I called Nelnet, my servicer. She was a lovely woman. She sounded confused. “Why do you want that?” Because it’s my contract, and I’d like to read it. Humor me.

She said they’d send it right out.

That was over a month ago.

Now, I know that DeJoy completely screwed up the U.S. Postal Service, but even in the 1800s, if a guy were riding on a horse the mail would have arrived by now.

Still waiting.

I also asked the Department of Education by email and again by U.S. Mail. Did it the same day as Nelnet. No reply, no contract, nothing. Maybe it's because the department’s been gutted like a trout, and the Secretary of Education has none (education that is) and is too busy confusing technology with steak sauce.

Rim shot. (Thank you, thank you, be sure to tip your waitress. We do three shows a night, folks.)

Here’s the part that matters:

The Department of Education and your servicer are legally required to keep your MPN and produce a copy on demand.

I know it’s quaint thinking of me, to you know, rely on the law. But that’s not optional. It’s the legal basis for the debt. It’s the whole contract.

I can’t just storm into Macy’s and demand they pay me a million dollars. That’s not how contracts work. I can’t just make it up.

Similarly, the government can’t just demand that I pay them. The debt may not be legally enforceable if they can't produce it. That’s not a conspiracy theory. That’s Contract Law 101.

In my “rant,” I argued that the President probably invalidated all student loans by illegally transferring them to the SBA. By the way, since he made that proclamation of idiocy, nothing appears to have happened. We don’t know what is happening because the Secretary of Education is talking about steak sauce, and the SBA has nothing on its website. So we have no idea what’s happening with those loans.

But if they suddenly said the SBA was now the debtholder and were going to collect those debts, I still maintain that would be a breach of the covenants of the law and the note itself, and thus, game over. I haven’t changed my view on that.

But we don’t know what’s happening because, again, the Secretary of Education is the waitress at Ruth’s Chris, and the SBA has no additional information. However, contracts matter, and more importantly, you have to have at least a contract to enforce it.

And in my case, they can’t even produce one.

So that got me thinking. Who else can’t they produce one for?

And yet here we are: Tens of millions of borrowers are about to be hit with collections—third-party agencies. No explanation. No proof.

Just “Pay up, or else.”

I’ve made every payment on time. I’m not in default. But they can’t even show me the contract that says I owe them anything.

That’s a breach.

And to top it all off, millions don’t even know what they’re supposed to be paying. What about those people? They’ll all start getting collection notices too (some of them, anyway).

So that begs a pretty simple question:

So what happens now?

According to the administration and Karoline Leavitt’s smiling non-response during a recent press briefing, millions of student loan borrowers are about to enter collections. Not repayments. Collections.

That means:

• Third-party collectors call you at home, work, or on your cellphone.

• Threats of wage garnishment.

• Damage to your credit score.

• And possibly legal action, initiated by agencies that may not even be able to show you the contract that started this in the first place.

You’re going to be told you’re in default.
You’re going to be told you owe.
You’re going to be told you have no options.

But here’s the thing:

If there’s no contract, maybe there’s no enforceable debt.

The Master Promissory Note (MPN) is the legal document that proves you agreed to borrow money. It’s the foundation of the entire student loan system.

According to federal regulations, the Department of Education and your loan servicer must maintain access to it for as long as the debt is active.

At the moment, it’s dubious whether we care about the law. Right? I mean, people are getting snatched off the street, and sent to El Salvador for God’s sake. Right? So, who’s going to care about enforcing contract rights?

Well, the reality is, you can’t get a bank garnishment unless a Court signs off. You can’t get a wage garnishment unless a Court signs off.

The law matters in this case. And it’s a simple thing. They have to show me (and you) a simple paper that says there’s a contract.

So why can’t they show it to me?

Why can’t they show it to you?

And more importantly: If they can’t prove they have your contract, what legal standing do they—or these third-party collection agencies—have to come after you?

Again, in my case, I’m not in default. It should be a super simple case.

Here you go, here’s the paper, PDF, ta da.

But they can’t do it.

Why?

Why can’t they?

I suspect they have the document somewhere. But maybe they don’t. And the government can’t say it doesn’t have to have that document, because the law says they have to have the document, or the debt itself is invalidated.

Now, that’s bad enough, but what makes this even crazier is that they’re beginning collections on people who are attempting to figure out precisely what to pay.

Collections Are Starting While the Legal System Is Still Sorting Itself Out

Here’s the part they don’t want to talk about:

Collections are being triggered right now, while millions of borrowers are still waiting to find out what the terms of their loan repayment are supposed to be.

I’m not exaggerating. Tens of millions of people are caught in the middle of what can only be described as a bureaucratic fog of war. Some are waiting for adjustments under the SAVE plan. Others were told their Income-Driven Repayment calculations would be fixed retroactively. Some are in servicer transitions that are still incomplete two years later. Others have applications pending for Public Service Loan Forgiveness.

And in the middle of all that, without waiting for final adjudication or even basic due diligence, the government is greenlighting collections.

You haven’t been told whether your payment plan is valid.
You haven’t been told whether your monthly amount is accurate.
You haven’t been told whether your loans were assigned correctly.
But you may still get a collections notice. Tomorrow. Next week. Anytime.

They’re skipping the resolution phase and going straight to enforcement.

That’s not just callous. It may be a violation of due process rights.

In any other area of law—civil, criminal, tax, regulatory—you do not get penalized before your status is resolved. You are not punished before the government tells you what you legally owe. You are not sent to collections when your debt is under legal review.

But here, in this system, apparently you do.

Because the goal isn’t clarity. The goal is control. And they know most people won’t fight. Most people won’t even know they have a right to.

That’s not how contract law is supposed to work. That’s not how public service debt is supposed to be managed. And that’s certainly not how a functioning rule-of-law society handles financial obligations to its citizens.

And yet here we are.

They’re coming after you before they’ve even confirmed they can.

This Isn’t Just Mismanagement. It’s Legal Grey Warfare.

The student loan system has collapsed due to decades of political negligence, administrative reshuffling, and outright corruption.

But instead of acknowledging the breach, the government has quietly shifted from managing debt to enforcing obedience.

They’re not trying to make you whole. They’re trying to keep you in line.

Because once you’re in collections:

• You can’t refinance.

• You can’t buy a home.

• You can’t access many professional licenses.

• You may not even be able to leave the country, depending on how far this regime is willing to go.

What You Can Do

1. Request your MPN—again—and document everything.

   • Send a written request to your loan servicer and the Department of Education.

   • Save their replies—or lack thereof.

   • If they say they can’t provide it, ask them to confirm that in writing.

2. If you receive a collections notice:

   • Do not panic.

   • Do not feel compelled to agree to anything over the phone.

   • Request proof of debt in writing. They are legally required to provide documentation if asked.

3. Know that you're not alone.

   • If you’re confused, angry, or unsure whether the servicer is collecting the right amount, you’re not imagining things.

   • Millions of borrowers are in the same position.

   • The system is opaque by design—that doesn’t mean you don’t have rights.

4. Talk to someone before you pay.

   • A lawyer. A legal aid clinic. A credit union.

   • Anyone who can tell you what’s enforceable—and what’s not.

   • Legal Services Corporation helps people find free legal aid:

   • Student Loan Borrower Assistance Project

Conclusion

I know many of you have crushing student loan debts. Some of you are already in default, or headed there. I’m not trying to offer false hope here.

But you do, as a debtor, have rights. You can demand that the government prove the debt is owed. That the amount is correct. The servicer has legal standing to collect. These aren’t exotic requests. These are the bare minimum standards of contract law.

I don’t know why the Department of Education can’t produce my Master Promissory Note, why Nelnet never sent the paperwork, or what the hell is happening at ED. I know they haven’t done what the law requires.

But I know this: If I pressed the issue in court, I’d probably win.

Because in any legal proceeding, it’s not enough for a lender to say “you owe us.” They have to show what you owe, when, and under what terms. That means showing the contract.

Showing that a loan was disbursed proves that a debt existed. But it doesn’t prove:

• What the repayment terms were

• What was the interest rate

• When the debt matured

• What remedies are allowed for default

That’s what the Master Promissory Note spells out. And without it, enforcement doesn’t just weaken—it evaporates.

Now, this isn’t some law school exercise. This is a real-world disaster. At some point, your loans will come due. And you’re going to have to deal with them.

If I pressed the Department, one of two things would happen:

• They’d find the note

• Or I’d be the luckiest son-of-a-bitch alive, and they’d lose outright

But let’s be clear—they will have the MPN for many borrowers. They’ll be able to enforce those debts. Despite whatever legal chaos Trump’s team created, the loans haven’t been transferred to the SBA. The Park Service isn’t calling you from a lookout tower in Yosemite.

So yes, you’ll have to deal with it. But deal with it smart. Don’t ignore the calls and the letters. Don’t think it goes away.

Be calm. Be organized. Ask for documentation. Ask for options.
You have options:

• You can rehabilitate the debt

• You can consolidate and refinance

• And if none of that works, talk to an attorney. Bankruptcy is still a legal remedy—even if it’s painful.

I was a collector for a while in my life. I did it part-time. I did collections of business debts, but the business I worked for also did debt collections of bad checks written at gas stations. The conversations can get heated, to be sure. Please don’t fall for it. Don’t lose your cool. Don’t lose your composure. Don’t get upset. Don’t get drawn in.

Don’t let the shame trap you.

The President of the United States goes bankrupt every nine seconds, gets indicted every third weekend, and still manages to tweet how amazing he is with a straight face.

You’re not the problem.

The system is broken, the bureaucracy is failing, and the law is upside down.

But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless.

This is just money. It’s just business.

So stand up. Ask questions. Demand the paper. Know your rights.

This post is free because everyone needs to understand “the big issues”. If you want to stay ahead of the next breach, the next lie, and the next loophole disguised as policy?
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